Massey Comment: This one is fine. It is purely descriptive, and leaves you nothing to unpack, but to the extent that the metaphor works and the poem gives you both a vivid image and a visceral sense of the clouds in motion on a day with wild, bright weather, I can’t knock it. The image is the actual clouds that sparked up the idea in me.
Love this haiku.
And thanks again!
Massey Grade: B.
Massey Comment: This one is fine. It is purely descriptive, and leaves you nothing to unpack, but to the extent that the metaphor works and the poem gives you both a vivid image and a visceral sense of the clouds in motion on a day with wild, bright weather, I can’t knock it. The image is the actual clouds that sparked up the idea in me.