“the emperor of all ocean liners” | Haiku | Peter Galen Massey's Book Blog

Feeds:: Posts; Comments

“the emperor of all ocean liners” | Haiku

January 15, 2016 by Peter Galen Massey

the emperor of / all ocean liners floats still, / defying its rust

Posted in Haiku | Tagged haiku, poems, poetry, uss united states, writing | 1 Comment

One Response

on January 18, 2016 at 10:29 pm | Reply Peter Galen Massey

Massey Grade: C+

Massey Comments: Well, if my goal is to post 3 haiku a week, I’m gonna have to stomach a fair number of mediocre poems. Or more precisely, YOU gonna have to. In any case, this haiku is one of those about which I’ll say “there is nothing particularly wrong or particularly right about it.”

On the plus side, such as it is, the poem is clearly laid out, it’s easily digestible, and the word “emperor” linked to the word “rust” allows me to get a vague “Ozymandias” kinda thing on which is the only reason I gave this a “+”.

On the minus, the language is minimally evocative, at best, and not very interesting. “Easily digestible” is another way of saying, you only need to read it once and once you have, there is no particular need to read it again. And especially, I seem to have failed the tug in my gut which was the original inspiration. Good thing The Muse plays baseball. Strike out against her and, oh well, another at bat is coming right up. I hope I hope.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Enter your comment here...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

Email (required) (Address never made public)

Name (required)

Website

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. ( Log Out / Change )

You are commenting using your Twitter account. ( Log Out / Change )

You are commenting using your Facebook account. ( Log Out / Change )

You are commenting using your Google+ account. ( Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: