Haiku | “on the bare brown branch”

January 1, 2016 by Peter Galen Massey

on the bare brown branch / a fat squirrel anxiously eats / another acorn

Posted in Haiku | Tagged haiku, Poems | 5 Comments

on January 1, 2016 at 3:18 pm | Reply Maureen Sudlow

have you thought about moving away from the 5-7-5 requirement?
- on January 1, 2016 at 4:18 pm | Reply Peter Galen Massey
  
  Actually no because it is the one strict poetic form that works for me. Most of them make it harder for me and make the results worse. The 575 Haiku is the opposite.
  - on January 1, 2016 at 4:33 pm Maureen Sudlow
    
    I’m not keen on strict poetic forms – you’ve probably noticed…
  - on January 1, 2016 at 6:23 pm Peter Galen Massey
    
    Yes. Me neither. So I was surprised this one worked!
on February 7, 2016 at 12:22 pm | Reply Peter Galen Massey

Massey Grade: B

Massey Comment: This one is pretty good, I guess. On the downside, there is nothing to unpack and the meaning is plain … if this haiku rises to meaning at all. On the upside, the technical execution is basically perfect (I suppose that is bragging) and there is a vivid image and even a whole story there in 17 syllables, albeit a brief one. And it is cheerful enough. I mean, how much of an audience am I going to get if I keep yelling DEATH! DEATH! DEATH! at you while you are just trying to drink your coffee in peace for five minutes, for Christ sake?