Holy cow, he’s rich and handsome. Holy crap, he makes me horny. Holy Moses, he’s got a sex dungeon. Holy f*ck, he can f*ck. Holy sh*t, I have to sign this contract? Holy crap, he’s mysterious and tortured. Ouch! he’s spanking me. Oh, I like it. Holy cow, he loves me for me? Hey! he tied me up. Huh, I like it. Holy crap, I’m meeting his mother. Holy f*ck, he can f*ck. Holy sh*t, shocking personal revelations! Glider. IHOP. Flogger. Handcuffs. Holy crap, he plays the piano too. Such a nice boy. Holy cow, the love of a brave woman should fix any broken man. Ah … aah … aaahh … aaaahhh! … aaaaahhhh!! … AAAAAAHHHHH!!
“Fifty Shades of Grey” in 100 Words | Parody of the Novel
July 11, 2012 by Peter Galen Massey
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Peter Galen Massey 
I have to agree with you. It didn’t do anything for me either. Not sure why it was getting so much hype.
Yes, it is a puzzle. Now I think I get some of the standard romance novel themes — because my wife explained them to me — but it doesn’t seem that James has managed them well. Why a poor example of the genre is so successful? That question is the most interesting thing about the book.
Brilliant!
Thankee. Remarkable book. I thought the sex was even more boring than the dialogue … and I just don’t see how such a thing is possible.
I’ve been reading this to some of my friends, and we all love it. One friend laughed so hard she choked. We all agree…this is better than the book!
Thanks! I was hoping to make someone other than myself laugh, and I’m glad I did.
Peter,
I’ve been hearing a lot about this book and I still have no idea what it is about. From your review, it seems like its about sex. Bad sex. Is that right? Did you read the whole thing?
I aggressively skimmed “50 Shades”. I think you can tell, from my parody sample of the prose style and content, that reading the whole book would have been an act of exceptional endurance for me. “50” seems to have a whole bunch of typical romance novel tropes … my wife pointed them out … prince charming, ugly duckling, the soon to be sexed-up virgin, “bad” man redeemed by love of “good” woman (god help us) … plus money porn, standard issue … plus the BDSM stuff, although there is a fair amount of non-BDSM sex, most of which confirms the opinions I expressed in The Trouble with Sex in Novels. (Hope that link renders in a readable way.)
Anyhow, the big mystery to me is not why things like this are popular … I watch “Supernatural” for example, so I can’t say I’m above genre entertainment … the mystery is why such a poorly executed example of the romance genre is popular. Unless “50” looks good by comparison to the rest?
Thanks for saving me from the book. It would have been time badly spent! ^_^
Trying to figure out why the book is so popular could be pretty interesting, however. It must do something for its readers or else it wouldn’t be doing so well. I think.
Took the words right out of my mouth.
Ha! I haven’t read this–um, “book”–but I have loved reading reviews like this on it!
This is amusing enough. I assume the post would actually be funny if I had read the novel? Also, why in God’s name did you? No one can blame a man for starting a book. Finishing it after he’s a chance to apply his own judgment to the case is another matter.
I skimmed with extreme impatience. Needed the material. Feed the beast and all that.