Massey Comment: Maybe I should like this one better than I do. I think the first two lines do a good job of characterizing the behavior of drivers at four-way stops in urban America. (You should see the intersection that inspired this haiku. It makes the Colosseum look like a tea party.) And props to me for an unusual topic for a haiku. I love me some innovation! On the downside, the last line isn’t poetry. It’s a label. A label for Christ’ sake. Labels in poetry are a sign of utter failure. This poem is about “sadness”. This poem is about the “despair of life”. This poem was written in support of returning the African migratory iguana to her natural habitat. If you have to provide material in the poem that explains the poem, you should pack it up and go the heck home.
I would worry that last remark serves as an open invitation to snarky commenters, but since I am the only person who will ever read this note, I feel pretty safe.
Massey Grade: C
Massey Comment: Maybe I should like this one better than I do. I think the first two lines do a good job of characterizing the behavior of drivers at four-way stops in urban America. (You should see the intersection that inspired this haiku. It makes the Colosseum look like a tea party.) And props to me for an unusual topic for a haiku. I love me some innovation! On the downside, the last line isn’t poetry. It’s a label. A label for Christ’ sake. Labels in poetry are a sign of utter failure. This poem is about “sadness”. This poem is about the “despair of life”. This poem was written in support of returning the African migratory iguana to her natural habitat. If you have to provide material in the poem that explains the poem, you should pack it up and go the heck home.
I would worry that last remark serves as an open invitation to snarky commenters, but since I am the only person who will ever read this note, I feel pretty safe.